We were ready for our 13 hour drive to Destin Florida for our family vacation. We were having family pictures taken on the most beautiful beach, so I made sure to pack the new onesie I purchased so we can use it to announce this baby - See you in February ❤
But the day before we left I had a follow up ultrasound with my OBGYN as I requested. My husband stayed home with the kids this time, after all we've been through this before with two other babies and have already had multiple visits to the fertility clinic where we needed childcare.
When my doctor came in and started the ultrasound, she was quiet and I didn't think much of it. I was nervous but not too nervous (I've been through this before) I was just hopeful thinking I would get the reassurance I needed that everything was fine and we could go on vacation the next day as planned. That wasn't the case. She said "I'm sorry, I don't see a heart beat". She then began to move around and show me where the baby was and where there was no cardiac activity. 💔 She also told me that the baby was only measuring 8 weeks 1 day when at that point baby should've been 10 weeks. Then I sat up and she wanted to review "my options". I told her I was leaving the next day for vacation and I needed some time to process and think about this and discuss it with my husband. I wasn't sure if I could drive home, so I sat in my car and cried for a bit. I didn't want to try to tell my husband over the phone, so I drove home and text him when I got there to meet me outside. I didn't want our girls to see either of us upset. So we sat out back and talked, cried, and held each other.
We were both heartbroken, but since my body was not showing any signs of a miscarriage we decided to proceed with the vacation as planned and hope for the best. My OBGYN said to bring some supplies with me as my body might start the miscarriage process while we were at the beach 😢 Fortunately I made it through the week without any major cramping or bleeding. As sad as I was I also didn't want to miss this time with our family, soaking in these moments with our little girls enjoying the beach and pool so I pulled myself together and pushed through the pain. This vacation was also a nice distraction from what was going on versus if I was just at home feeling upset and alone.
When we got back home it was time for me to get back in touch with my OBGYN and decide how I wanted to move forward. I could choose to continue waiting to see if my body would go through it naturally on my own, or I could take medicine to induce the miscarriage at home, or I could choose to get a D&C. This is no decision I would ever wish on someone. Ultimately, I chose to have the D&C so I could move past this and begin the healing process.
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